tell me again
what’s wrong with me.
I’ll pull up a chair,
like a child listening
to a bedtime story,
while you list all the ways
I will never be enough,
remind me why I am alone,
sing me my failures,
question my abilities,
paint my inferiority,
hum my inadequacy,
strum the notes of my wrongs,
then ask me
why
I don’t
believe
in
myself
anymore
How did she taste, when I was writing poems for you?
Was her bed warm, did you sing to her, too, while I waited
in silence for you? Did you look behind or ahead or only
in her eyes? Was the press of her flesh all you needed
to feel alive? Were my words tossed aside like last weeks
trash, while you cherished her body, and I walked alone
outside? Did you wonder what it meant as you sighed in
release, the waves of torment you set on the seas? Or do
you owe nothing to no one and your body is free? Do you
realize that your body will never claim me?
each
truth
stands on
its own and
grows a foundation
no hidden secrets or doors
that stay locked, no shadows that
lurk and threaten to pull out one piece
from the core of it and bring the whole thing down
She crawled inside the night to wait
as the sun sunk low, all of her warm
colors followed her down to the sea.
Like music, she heard them go – sun
and her bright yellows and reds – drums,
full orchestra as she bowed her head.
The oranges, peaches, and pinks
danced across the stage, violins echoed
their softer song, and then dropped
with the wind. Only piano remained,
clear and blue, and indigo inked the sky
as day let go – and silence.
And, for so many nights, this is when
the stars would come. The keeper would
release them, one by one. He’d watch her eyes
as stars transformed the blue, and the blue
of her eyes drew the stars inside. And in her sky
he’d draw magical things, and that is what
her heart was made of. But one night, the keeper
never came, and stars began to disappear.
Others claimed to see them still, but her sky was dark.
Deep inside her the magic never returned –
a heart without a keeper, a sky without the stars
I laugh, I cry,
I run in and out
of dark forests
still you stay
I cherish the sun
but weep when
the sea takes her
still you stay
I smile at stars
but wonder
why they leave
still you stay
I sing in colors
but curse darkness
when it scares me
still you stay
I walk the beach
breathe the sea
but must always go
still you stay
I live warmth
but dissolve trembling
when the cold comes
still you stay
still
you stay
still
you
stay
Talking to the Clouds 